Sarah Joy

Sarah Joy
May 15, 1981-July 21, 2010
Missing my only sister.   Sarah struggled since age 12, perhaps earlier, with depression and the medications, hospitals, and therapists that go along with it.  She took her own life at her home in July... i wish she could have held on longer but I'll always be thankful for her life, too short.  Rest in peace, dear Sarah.

Thank you so much to all the friends and family that have been comfort and support to Mom, Dad, and Drew since we received news of this unthinkable tragedy.  I am so thankful you are part of my life... NKC, JLT, JKL, JCV, CTH for making the trip to Wisconsin for the funeral, RHG and SBC for sending such thoughtful remembrances from the big D... for the flowers... Hutch and crew for lifting our spirits on Lake Michigan, Uncle Steve for the trip out west, Fila for the weekend in Chicago... MFF for being a listening ear on my return to South Africa.  Alice, Cila and Landi for support on this end... and countless others who've sent notes or helped in other ways... especially to those who've endured similar tragedies, for re-opening your wounds to help us...  It does nothing to bring Sarah back but somehow helps to make this bearable.  2 Corinthians 1: 3-7.

World Cup

In the months leading up to thee World Cup, many of my American friends were asking me if South Africans were excited about the World Cup.  Of course the preparations (roadworks, stadiums, sprucing up the tourism infrastructure) had been in the works for the past several years, but I wasn’t sure if “excited” was the right word.  More how I would have described the feeling pre-World Cup is like that feeling before you throw a big party – you are busy getting ready and perhaps a bit anxious – wondering if people will have a good time, if enough people will show up, if there will be enough food, etc.  You don’t want to get too excited, because what if it is a big flop.

So suffice it to say the country was relieved and proud when the events went off quite seamlessly.  In a divided country where there are lots of things that don't function as well as they should, it was great to see this event bring South Africans together.

And in case you are wondering how the World Cup affected my life:

--I learned that Coca-cola = happiness.  (seriously?? In the same category as the radio commercial: “Joy is the BMW 3-Series.”)

--The kids had an extra-long winter break this year (6 weeks instead of about 3). 

--I watched A LOT of soccer. 

--Spent a lovely day in Cape Town and an afternoon at Agape with Carrie and Hutch and crew.

--Traipsed through Stellenbosch with Nancy’s friend Molly, a soccer enthusiast in S Africa for the World Cup.

--All the kids (including Jessica!) are singing Waka Waka.

--I understand the off sides rule.

And of course:  Vuvuzelas everywhere.

Here are some World Cup-themed photographs…

Carrie and me, on the ferry from Robben Island.  Cape Town/Table Mountain in the background.

View from Signal Hill of Cape Town's Green Point Stadium.  

Entertainment: World Cup Semi-final and Samuel taking care of his baby (he insisted we be quiet because the baby was sleeping.  Then when it started to cry, he went to change the diaper and, while doing so, commented "dit kind maak my mal" ("this child makes me crazy")). 

Avuyise did my hair while we were watching the game. 

Bella

Several months ago I wrote that it would be hard to imagine life here at Agape without Annabell.  Well that is exactly what we’ve had to do since her death on June 17th.  She had been gradually deteriorating over the previous several days.  Annabell’s family had come to see her on Wednesday.  Then on Thursday around 11PM in the Asiphe House, she made a few small noises and was just gone.  I learned about this the next evening as Gabi drove me from the Cape Town airport back to Agape.


We held her funeral at Agape, in the Asiphe House where she had spent most of her 2+ years.

It was a beautiful occasion where we could mourn the fact that she will be missing from our day-to-day lives and celebrate what a wonderful and mysterious thing that God had done before our very eyes.  Here was a child that the doctors said would live no longer than a few days.  Other people would say what a waste of time and money for her to be cared for.  But what is so amazing is that this one little girl who never spoke a single world was able to touch so many lives all around the world – doctors and caregivers in the hospital who were amazed by how she lived so long against all odds, housemothers in Asiphe House who were blessed daily by Bella, and people from all over the world praying for her and emailing to ask how is she doing.  God has a purpose for every single person’s life, including Annabell’s.

Back Home From Home

I’m not the first person to feel perfectly comfortable and “at home” in multiple places. I’m back in my wooden cottage at Agape after seven weeks in the USA where, after a quick count, I came up with at least 13 different beds I slept in during those weeks. So people asked me there how it was to be there – it was great. And now people ask me how it was to be there – great – and how it is to be back – great. Ek kan nie kla nie. That’s “I can’t complain” in Afrikaans. One thing that is difficult is trying to explain to the kids at Agape where I am going and why. Seven weeks for a kid is like an eternity. So I told them that I had to go see my dog – they all know I have a dog named Ralphie – and that I had to go make potjiekos for the people on the other side of the world (potjiekos, pr. poy-key-kos, stew made over a fire in a cast iron cauldron and mentioned with increasing frequency on this blog and others (Judy's blog here)). This they understand. And of course I mention friends and family. And after a week back at Agape, it seems as if the kids are forgetting I was even gone. Here is a photo of Samuel, Nina, and me last week. 

And one of the photographer, Sisipho.

And my dad and me getting ready for the afternoon around the potjie.

Potjie

What started as a cultural fascination (see previous blog posts here and here) has turned into a full-fledged obsession. Me and the potjie -- the black cast iron pot you use to cook potjiekos (lit. pot-food) over the fire. I love it and have recently started making up reasons to cook in the potjie. My dear South African parents have watched the evolution from enjoyment of the delicious food to addiction and sent me back to the States with my very own number 3 pot (the last photo below. I have at 2 scheduled opportunties to cook in it and am always looking for more).

Samuel leading church -- his favorite activity -- while I'm cooking in the pots at Agape 4.

Potjie is a team effort for me -- I need someone to manage the fire. Here is Reyno.

This is the box I checked on the flight with me. Sisipho wrote on the box: "Ons gaan Tannie Amy mis" (we're going to miss Auntie Amy").

Back in Houston

Today ends the longest period of not posting on this blog since it started.... it's been over three months. Writing doesn't come naturally to me and it is difficult for me to distill my experiences into a few succinct paragraphs. I saw A for the first time in over a year at the park this morning and after a bit of encouragement from her, "blog update," which has been languishing on my to-do list, will finally get a check mark.

I've been back in Houston for the past 10 days. So many people ask me how it is to be back, and truthfully, I have really enjoyed it. I'm back in my townhome, walking around Memorial Park, seeing friends, it is great. I'm also very excited to return to Agape next month and have been missing my friends and family on that side terribly. Here are some photos and a video of recent months. The first photo above is of some of our wonderful children at Agape that I love with all my heart. They have new houseparents now -- a mom and a dad from the area who are wonderful people and parents and truly a God-send. I have loved getting to know them better and seeing the impact they're having on the kids in their house.

Gabi and I took some of the kids to the ocean while her parents were visiting from the Netherlands.

Me with some of the kids pre-bedtime. It's like a matching game and we play in English and Afrikaans.

Smiles after dinner at the Spur -- every South African kids' favorite restaurant.

Before a minor day surgery -- she was so nervous but did great.

In an outdoor food court area at a mall in Cape Town. My Afrikaans is something like "kick Samuel.... Now he is very wet..." This outing was a welcome diversion on a school holiday when Ami was in the hospital.

Somebody call 911

Kind of like Houston, the area I’m living in here isn’t particularly safe. There is a lot of poverty, gang violence, and drug and alcohol abuse. In the summer months (I’m in the Southern Hemisphere so that’s now), it’s very dry and there are dangerous bush fires. We could see the orange flames from our kitchen window this evening. This view is from Agape 1, looking towards Agape 2. Most of the pink you see is the sunset, but you can see flames and smoke to the left of the trees. The winds are blowing hard and the squatter camps in Rooidakke, adjacent to Agape 4, could be affected. The whole area smells like a campfire.